A Letter to My Mother

I wrote this letter to my mother a couple years ago. She’s a wonderful woman, and lately, I’ve been feeling down about how I’ve treated her. I needed to remind myself I’m not all bad.

Aren’t mothers great? They essentially raise us to to defy them. They teach us to speak so that we may use harsh speech against them. It always makes me sad to think of that.  We should all show our Mothers some extra love. Mothers are amazing.

Dear Mommy,

I just wanted to take some time out of the stress of finals to reminisce. The more I sit down to think, the more I realize how amazing you are.

Mom, I hope you know that you are appreciated for the near 21 years you’ve spent nurturing, educating, and disciplining your children.

I need you to know that I remember. I remember all the little things you’ve done for me and not one of them is taken for granted.

I remember the princess birthday party you threw for me in Kindergarten with our sprite for tea and the lovely manicures you gave us all.

I remember you buying me a purple dress for Kindergarten graduation. You knew how much I loved purple, and you wanted to make me happy.

I remember the Alison doll you bought me. I remember loving her because she looked like you, but most of all, because you bought her for me.

I remember you slaving away for weeks making me my Snow White Costume to go Trick-Or-Treating with Omar—the Power Ranger.

I remember you sitting down with me on Saturday morning back in ’99 to teach me the 50 states (in Alphabetical order) for Mrs. Dean’s ridiculously hard First Grade Class. I also remember being the only student in the class who knew the proper order for the 7 days of the week. (Sunday comes before Monday, who knew?) I knew because you had me clarify what the order was. I got it wrong. You corrected me. Little did I know… you would correct me for the rest of my life.

I remember falling off the Monkey Bars in second grade. In the midst of crying, I asked Mrs. Budge to walk me over to the Library so you could hold me and make me feel better. You always make me feel better.

I remember the time I made you cry with a heavy heart. I regret it every day.

I remember you driving me to soccer practice all the way in Santa Clarita as I complained about how much I didn’t want to run and how I just wanted to quit. You encouraged me to stick with it because you knew I was speaking out of stress rather than concrete feeling.

I remember you driving me to get my hair, nails, and make-up done for Prom.

I remember you telling me I looked beautiful.

I remember you picking me up at 5:00 AM after Grad Night.

Most of all, I remember the ache I felt after you drove off after dropping me off at Chapman that first night. I wanted nothing more than to be held by my mother and have her tell me I was going to get through everything, and be great—that’s all you’ve ever wanted from us.

I know every year when your birthday or Mother’s Day comes around, and you say you don’t want anything, you’re telling the truth. You’re the most selfless woman I know. The best gift I can give you is being successful, but most of all, being happy. I try and work hard every day so I can give you that gift. I never want to let you down.

I want you to know that you’re the cutest person in the world. I love your secret obsession with face book and how you learn about all the new language we use. I know all my friends love you. I love that they love you.

I love your excessive, in your face, attitude. You are so involved in our lives because of how much you care.

I love you for raising my 3 bestest friends in the world. My 3 siblings are the people who will love me unconditionally despite all of my annoying tendencies.

I love how you love me even when I say horrible things out of anger. You know I don’t really mean it.

I love you because you are worthy of so much more than 4 children who don’t always express their appreciation. We didn’t always understand the tough love. My younger sister and brother still may not understand. But, I do. I understand, and my older brother understands. We know, and we appreciate you so much for it.

I know of all the things you continue to do. You constantly worry, think and pray for us. You love us.  The thing about love is that you can feel it. You can feel it across countries, across states, across cities… I can feel it, here at my University, 41.8 miles away from home. I hope you can feel it too.

You are so beautiful inside and out. You have stunning eyes and the cutest smile. You are a truly outstanding woman.

I know you know how emotional I am and how I like to pretend I’m not. I don’t want to talk about this… Ever. I just wanted you to know that I love you more than the very sustenance I need to survive. This love is more than a necessity; my love for you grounds me to this universe. It humbles me. It reminds me how blessed I am. It reminds me that there is a God, and he is amazing.

I wanted to say Thank You. You don’t understand how much your faith in me has helped me to constantly push myself to be better. You’ve given me the gift of your presence, and that can never EVER be replaced.

One day, you will be the best and most involved grandmother, but for now, please know… You’re THE best Mom.

I love you.

Happy Mothers Day!

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