Love is eternal.
That’s why it doesn’t fade when someone dies, or even after someone hurts you. If it is true love, it is timeless.
Here is my take on love. The person you were when you fell in love with someone will always love that person. So, in order to stop loving someone, you literally have to transform into a new person.
In order to stop loving him, I will have to become an entirely new person.
Yet, I fought so hard to become this person. I don’t want to let her go, and I don’t want to let him go even though everyone around me thinks he’s terrible for me. Even though everyone around me has heard me cry too many times—my best friend told me that she’s never heard me sound “so broken” and “so distraught,” and she has seen many break-downs in our 12 years of friendship.
I am so incredibly confused, and I’m unsure if I’ll be able to change.
All I know is: I love him; I think I will always love him, and I don’t think I will change. That being said, I understand my worth, and I understand what I deserve. I don’t deserve to be constantly crying. I don’t deserve to be the only one putting forth effort. I don’t deserve to be lied to. I don’t deserve to be taken for granted.
I deserve better, and so do you.
At the end of the day, the person reflecting back at me in the mirror is going to be me, and she is the person who is going to need my love the most. Right now, I choose to love her, unconditionally.